.[Father's Day].

Father's Day should be a day to celebrate Father's across the world for all that they do for their children. A day to pamper them and love on them a little more than usual.

I wish that I could say that the above happens in my world but it simply does not. Today is actually I day I dread. Why on earth would I dread this day well it's simple, I am a single mom living in a world with many other single moms and disappearing dads. I share a child with someone who just doesn't seem to care, that this should be a day to cherish the little brilliant guy that we brought into the world.

On the flip side I don't understand why some of these single moms feel the need to be praised on Father's Day. Like really, you are a mom, yes you may be raising your child alone but what entitles you to spew hatred for the man you laid down with and then proclaim how super and strong you are simply because you are doing what you are supposed to do.

There are a handful of men I know who handle their business. I don't mean they pay child support and visit on odd holidays. I am speaking about men who teach their kids how to ride bikes and throw a ball, ya know just spend time. I know men who aren't biological fathers who do the same no questions asked.

Besides my issues with my son's father, I have issues with my dad. Growing up I can't say I was never without a positive male role model but it never filled the void that my dad left gaping open in my heart when he decided to allow something to take over his life. All my life I had been told that it wasn't his fault, he wants to be a good dad but he just can't right now. I always wondered why he wouldn't just choose to be in my life. Why I wasn’t important enough for him to do the right thing. This truly lead to issues with relationships for me, not including the fact that I was living a life I didn't want to for the sake of others, but that's a totally different blog post.

At what point are we going to break the cycle. When are we going to say it is not okay for our sons, brothers, cousins and nephews to have children and not be responsible. But in the very same breath we need to be teaching our daughters, nieces and other girls in our lives to value themselves so much more than they do now. I know that not every situation is the same but I would be lying if I said I don't know how my son's father would turn out the way he did, truth is a lot of us know. We just wish, pray and hope that it will be different for us.

As sad as it is to type this, I have just about given up hope that many of the fathers I know will every do right by their children. I hate that my son will have to grow up wanting and longing for his dad to be a good dad only to be disappointed. I know that I have to work 10 times as hard to help him not make the same mistake that all of the generations before him have made but I will bust my ass to do it.

I do salute the dad's who are actually doing it and I love them for it. So to all the real men, doing things that real fathers should do without being threatened, begged,or guilted...

Happy Father's Day!

.:. Reflection .:.

As I sit here looking at the letter from my college congratulating me on graduating, I can not help but reflect on where I was, where I am and where I want to be.[Ironically 'Successful” is blasting into my eardrums as I type]

Where I was.

I was a young mother, going through a horrible break-up and depression. I was alone with only my baby boy to comfort me. I was without hope that I would ever be anything in the world that mattered. I just couldn't shake the feeling of being a failure. I just kept rising and falling with no real purpose until I decided I needed to do something for the sake of my one and only son. It was then I decided to enroll in school. I didn't have a clue what I truly wanted to do forever but I knew that I had to get on top of it before I started preaching to my Doot about growing up and making something of himself. Signing up was easy, finding a babysitter and actually getting to school on time was the biggest challenge but I did it. I made it happen and then I began to see the small victories that I knew would amount to me being victorious in the end.


Where I am.

After 2 years of full time working, part & full time school, I am here. Staring my graduation date down like it was the last day of my existence. My baby boy is about to start PreK and he is turning into such a handsome and intelligent little man. Work is going as well as to be expected. I am truly beyond blessed to have the co-workers that I have. They have no idea how much they keep me going, even when I am crying and complaining about everything. While I do have some pretty good things going for me my life isn't truly as peachy keen as I portray. I am still have some serious struggles but I know the source of them and I need to rid myself of that source as much as possible. I can almost guarantee that when the next school year starts my environment will be different. I have a new set of people in my life and I know that there are going to truly help me propel to heights I never dreamed of reaching.


Where I want to be.

When I started school my final goal was completely different than what it is now. But I am a firm believer that each person on this planet has a predestined path that they can and most likely will travel. My path is leading me to be a helper. I have always been a helping person so I feel that this fits me to a T. I know that I won't be stopping at one degree either. My new motto is Master's Or Bust!. I have to get the highest level degree possible because there are things that I want my little man to have and I see that if I want him to have it, I am going to have to provide it for him. I am learning that in my future I don't want to have to depend on anyone but me and the Man above, who makes all things possible for me and in my life. I am strong, determined and refusing to give up, so even if I am not still blogging in the next 5 years know that I will be where I want to be, reflecting on what I wrote years ago.

.:. Back to Blogging .:.

Wow...It's almost been an entire year since I've written or recorded a blog entry. In a years time many things have changed and people have come and gone. I've actually forgotten how theraputic blogging was for me. So I've decided to try my hand at weekly entries again.

So look out, cause Peachy's back.

..::Random VLOG #1::..

Here is a random Vlog I did last night....Check me out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njX89R-BNc4

:: Summer VLOG series::

So I have some time on my hands and I decided that instead of writing my blogs for the summer, I am going to video them...So let me know if you guys wanna hear about anything in particular. I have a list of some things I want to discuss already. I really am excited about it and I hope you guys enjoy it!!! 

Peachy's Summer VLOG series #1:: Don't talk about it, Be About it::

Coming on May 24th...

::I'll be back::

I am currently doing year end stuff at school(work) so I am a little busy but I will be back at the end of the week with LOTS of posts...there is a lot going on and I need to share...Miss you guys much...

::Mistakes, Regrets and Life Lessons…::

For the most part in my life I have been a pretty cautious in the choices I have made. I won’t say that some of things I have decided to do were the best but I don’t think I have done anything too wild.

 

Since I turned 25 I told myself that I would start making more choices that would ultimately benefit me and the people closest to me. I have always had a helping spirit and that has more often then not gotten my feelings, heart, pride and faith in people trampled all over.

 

The weeks leading up to my vacation and the week I have been on vacation put some interesting things in my path. Some things I opted to jump over but some things I decided to take head on.

 

Boy oh boy did I choose the wrong things to take on. While the pros seemed to out weigh the cons, the tables quickly turned on me. As I type I feel like a piece of me is dying inside. If you know me, you know I am highly emotional and right now I am riding a terrifying emotional rollercoaster.

 

I seem to always choose the wrong things to take head on. Whenever I feel as if I am making a great choice it seems to backfire dead in my face and I am left standing alone, wishing I could turn back the hands of time and turn down what I thought was a good choice.

 

As I grow older I am learning more and more. I am surrounded by some wonderful ladies (waving to all my BHMers who loves me) and they are helping me become better.

 

I really believe that these mistakes will help me in the future but it’s so hard to see the sunshine through the rain…