.[Father's Day].

Father's Day should be a day to celebrate Father's across the world for all that they do for their children. A day to pamper them and love on them a little more than usual.

I wish that I could say that the above happens in my world but it simply does not. Today is actually I day I dread. Why on earth would I dread this day well it's simple, I am a single mom living in a world with many other single moms and disappearing dads. I share a child with someone who just doesn't seem to care, that this should be a day to cherish the little brilliant guy that we brought into the world.

On the flip side I don't understand why some of these single moms feel the need to be praised on Father's Day. Like really, you are a mom, yes you may be raising your child alone but what entitles you to spew hatred for the man you laid down with and then proclaim how super and strong you are simply because you are doing what you are supposed to do.

There are a handful of men I know who handle their business. I don't mean they pay child support and visit on odd holidays. I am speaking about men who teach their kids how to ride bikes and throw a ball, ya know just spend time. I know men who aren't biological fathers who do the same no questions asked.

Besides my issues with my son's father, I have issues with my dad. Growing up I can't say I was never without a positive male role model but it never filled the void that my dad left gaping open in my heart when he decided to allow something to take over his life. All my life I had been told that it wasn't his fault, he wants to be a good dad but he just can't right now. I always wondered why he wouldn't just choose to be in my life. Why I wasn’t important enough for him to do the right thing. This truly lead to issues with relationships for me, not including the fact that I was living a life I didn't want to for the sake of others, but that's a totally different blog post.

At what point are we going to break the cycle. When are we going to say it is not okay for our sons, brothers, cousins and nephews to have children and not be responsible. But in the very same breath we need to be teaching our daughters, nieces and other girls in our lives to value themselves so much more than they do now. I know that not every situation is the same but I would be lying if I said I don't know how my son's father would turn out the way he did, truth is a lot of us know. We just wish, pray and hope that it will be different for us.

As sad as it is to type this, I have just about given up hope that many of the fathers I know will every do right by their children. I hate that my son will have to grow up wanting and longing for his dad to be a good dad only to be disappointed. I know that I have to work 10 times as hard to help him not make the same mistake that all of the generations before him have made but I will bust my ass to do it.

I do salute the dad's who are actually doing it and I love them for it. So to all the real men, doing things that real fathers should do without being threatened, begged,or guilted...

Happy Father's Day!